Thursday, January 7, 2010

It's OK to Do Nothing!

The other day I wasn't feeling very good. Nothing major, just tired and worn out. I knew I had a lot to do that day though so I pushed on and checked off all of my to-do's. You know us moms have to make sure we take care of everyone and get everything done.

Well, the next day I woke up feeling like I had been dragged behind a bus. Holy cow! It was bad. I decided that I just couldn't push through and I had to take it easy. I grabbed a blanket and snuggled up on the couch and took turns watching TV and taking naps. I did absolutely nothing!

Now, let me tell you, every hour or so I was overcome with guilt. I call it mommy guilt. I would start thinking, "I should just get up and throw a load of laundry in." or "I really can't lie here day doing nothing." When my husband called at lunch I could feel my stomach tighten as he asked me what I was doing. I knew he would be supportive but I still had the guilt.

Why is it that it's not OK to take care of ourselves anymore? I know moms are the worst at it but I know that I have a history of abusing myself and pushing myself beyond what is healthy from way back. Staying up all night partying, not eating healthy, being sick for weeks and running around doing everything.

It seems now that I am a bit older, my body is speaking louder to me and I can't ignore it as much as I used to. But why the guilt and how do I deal with it?

Well, I can tell you what I did. Every time those little thoughts entered my head I took a deep breath, and repeated my current favorite affirmation, "I love and approve of myself." Then I had a brief conversation with myself that went something like this, "Michelle, it's OK to take care of yourself. You don't feel good. Your body is asking for rest and you deserve to have it." This whole process took about 15 seconds.

It didn't stop the thoughts from coming, but it did help me deal with them and I imagine that the more I practice this, the less those thoughts will come.
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