Perfectionist? Who me?

Lately I've been working with clients that have some perfectionist tendencies. Usually when I work with a client I will see my issues mirrored in them. When they tell me how much they are addicted to sugar I can totally relate. When they describe their love of chocolate...I'm right there with them. When they tell me they just don't have any time to take care of themselves, I tell them they are preaching to the choir. I get it!

But this perfectionism thing just didn't resonate with me. I just don't see myself as a perfectionist. I've had conversations with my friends and family about this and my comment is usually something like, "Well, I know I can't be a perfectionist because I don't do anything perfect, and it doesn't really bother me."

Well, this morning I was listening to an audio broadcast about perfectionism and something strange started to happen. I began to see myself fitting into the mold of perfectionism. What? How weird! As I scribbled my notes I got an uneasy feeling. Could it be? Could I really be a perfectionist? No, that just doesn't make sense.

But then the woman said two words that hit me like a ton of bricks. Suddenly it was so clear. It all made sense to me. Those two words were; perfectionist procrastinator! It perfectly describes me. It explains why I couldn't even see myself as a perfectionist because I procrastinate doing things until I can do them perfectly which of course we all know can't happen so I just don't do them. Ha! What an aha moment.

Now you might be wondering how as a health and wellness coach who specializes in working with women I could miss something so completely obvious about myself. Isn't that interesting? Well the truth is, it is so much easier to spot things in other people than it is ourselves.

Just last week I was working with one of my clients and I hit one of her issues on the head and she was taken back by my ability to see her so clearly when she had been unable to figure it out for herself. That's the beauty of working with a coach or a mentor. You get insight that you most often are unable to give yourself and you get support to work through the changes.

I work with a health and wellness coach myself. We meet every two weeks and she has been a Godsend for me. She sees things I can't see and she helps me look at things with a different perspective. When I am down she inspires me to pick myself up and keep going and when I am up she fuels my momentum. Even health coaches need health coaches.

What areas of your life could you use a little support in?

If you are interested in finding out more about how I can support you, contact me today and we can set up a free breakthrough session to uncover your goals begin making changes.

Loving Yourself Thin

I am still making my way through Geneen Roth's Women Food and God

and I keep finding all kinds of wisdom nuggets. It is a wonderful book that really gets to the heart of emotional eating.

Here is the quote that got me thinking today:

"Although the very notion that hatred leads to love and that torture leads to relaxation is absolutely insane, we hypnotize ourselves into believing that the end justifies the means. We treat ourselves and the rest of the world as if deprivation, punishment and shame lead to change. We treat our bodies as if they are the enemy and the only acceptable outcome is annihilation. Our deeply ingrained belief is that hatred and torture work. And although I've never met anyone - not one person - for whom warring with their bodies led to long lasting change, we continue to believe that with a little more self-disgust, we'll prevail."

When I read that passage it cut right to the bone. How many times have we looked in the mirror with hatred at the reflection staring back at us? How many times have we looked down at our stomach or our thighs and shuddered with disgust? How many times have we made derogatory comments about our bodies to our girlfriends?

So often we tend to beat ourselves up. We are never thin enough, pretty enough, or perfect enough. It is only when we begin to accept ourselves for who we are on the outside and well on the inside that we can begin to see a shift in our attitude and amazingly we see a shift in our weight as well.

I've worked with women who were so hard on themselves and when I would bring up this topic it seemed so foreign to them. They couldn't imagine loving themselves just as they are...they are fat, they are lumpy, they are ugly...don't you see?!

It is only when I get them to look deeper, to see who they are beneath the exterior that they can see that yes, they are perfect just the way they are. It may only last a brief moment, but that moment is the beginning of the shift. It takes time but soon enough they catch their reflection in the mirror and instead of being repulsed, they think, hmmm, not so bad. And soon after that, they start smiling at themselves in the mirror and before long they are truly happy with what they see. And all the while, the pounds seem to melt away.

My words are from experience. I've been living this truth for a while now and I can honestly say that the majority of the time I look into the mirror and like what I see. I am not perfect. I could definitely lose some more weight and firm up but I don't focus on that anymore and let me tell you, it is freeing. I am happier and I am content. Because I am appreciating my body and loving it, I want to feed it good foods. It's no longer a struggle or a battle or a exercise in deprivation. It's just what I do.

So, if you are stuck in a negative relationship with your body, begin to find the things you love about yourself and focus on them. Make it a daily exercise and be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself like you would a small child and see if it makes a difference.

Making Peace With What Is

For those of you who know me well, you know that I am a summer girl. OK, a spring and summer girl. I love the warm and beautiful weather. I don't mind fall but I know it means winter is coming and I can't stand the thought of that so I usually don't like fall much.

I feel as if I were born into the wrong climate. Seriously! Even as a kid I didn't like going out in the cold. My friends would go out sledding, skating, and skiing and I would stay in the house where it was warm. Not my cup of tea!

So now I am still here in the Chicagoland area and I am still freezing every winter. I've tried changing my attitude about it. In fact a couple of years ago I started my own campaign called, "Embrace Winter". I went out and took pictures of the beautiful sunsets and looked daily for something to find beauty in every day. It worked well until February and I was miserable once again.

So why am I telling you all of this when the weather is so beautiful? I was reading in Geneen Roth's book, Women Food and God
yesterday and I ran across this passage. It was written to a woman who was unhappy in her current job situation and was asking how to be happy until she got the job she wanted. Here is Geneen's reply:

...What if this is exactly what you are supposed to be doing because it is what you are doing? What if each nitty-gritty task is perfection itself and you keep missing it because you're looking for something else?

It's like washing the dishes. If you focus on getting the dishes done so that your kitchen will be clean, you miss everything that happens between dirty and clean. The warmth of the water, the pop of the bubbles, the movements of your hand. You miss the life that happens inthe middle zone- between now and what you think your life should be like. And when you miss those moments because you'd rather be doing something else, you are missing your own life. Those moments are gone. You will never get them back.

...Even when you arrive at being Someone because you are where you were going- your life may not be any better if you haven't learned to be awake, alive, now. To take this moment for what it is. It's just as easy to be miserable when you are Someone Special as when you are No One in Particular. Because even Someone Special still has to live in her own skin and deal with boredom, rejection, loneliness, disappointment. Even Someone Special comes home at night and does what the Nobodies do: falls asleep alone. You might as well learn how to pay attention now. How to inhabit the life you've chosen. How to take up every inch of your skin. Occupy the space in this body you were given. It's your place. Only yours.

The writer Annie Dillard says, 'How you spend your days is how you spend your life.' Be unwaveringly honest. Ask youself how you want to spend your days...

...the reality of your day-to-day life has to be beter than the self-inflicted misery you are creating through the stories you are telling youself....

Come back. Break the trance. Pay attention to your breath. Your arms. Your legs...Notice colors. The royal blue of a coworker's dress. The coffee stain on your boss's tie. Wake up to the riot of life around you every second. The singer Pearl Bailey said, 'People see God every day; they just don't recognize Him.' What if every day was a chance to see a new version of God? What if what you needed was right in front of you and you were not recognizing it?

You already have everything you need to be content.

Her words are beautiful and really speak to me. This truth is for everyone whether you are wanting a better job, a better home, or a better climate. I am ready and willing to take the challenge to live every moment of my life. How about you?

Your comments are important to me. Please scroll down and click on the "comment" link to leave me a brief message.

Inspirational Music on Monday

Sometimes we fall down, can't get back up
We're hiding behind skin that's too tough
How come we don't say I love you enough
Till it's to late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
And we could make a feast from these crumbs
And we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
So if your life flashed before you,
What would you wish you would've done

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

And if your plane fell out of the skies
Who would you call with your last goodbye
Should be so careful who we live out our lives
So when we long for absolution,
There'll no one on the line, yeah

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

You never know a good thing till it's gone
You never see a crash till it's head on
Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong
You never know a good thing till it's gone

Yeah, we gotta start
Looking at the hands of the time we've been given
If this is all we got and we gotta start thinking
If every second counts on a clock that's ticking
Gotta live like we're dying

We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

Like we're dying, oh, like we're dying
We only got 86,400 seconds in a day to
Turn it all around or to throw it all away
We gotta tell them that we love them
While we got the chance to say
Gotta live like we're dying

Searching for Happiness

You’ve got to love kids! This morning I was driving my teenager to school and I had my 2 youngest sons in the car with me and we were chatting. My 9 year old says, “Mom, next year I will be closer to having a new school.” I laughed because here he is in third grade and he is already thinking about getting into sixth grade.

We talked a bit about the next two years in his elementary school and then I told him, “Well Liam, just enjoy your time in this school because once you get out, you can never go back.” I went on to say that it is important to focus on every moment that you are living because when you do that, it makes that moment the best ever.

Do you know what his answer was? It’s really so funny. He said, “So this moment, sitting in the car is the best moment of my life?” I smiled to myself about the simplicity and honesty of children and then I replied, “Well, yes, actually. We are alive, we have a car to sit in, it’s a nice day, and we love each other. What could be better than that right?”

At that point he let out a big sigh and said in his truly happy voice, “Yeah Mommy!”

How often do we sit and wish for something more, for something better? It seems we are always chasing happiness, looking for the perfect moment when we will finally achieve that happiness. I have been guilty of this myself and I know that there will never be a perfect moment or perfect circumstances. Every moment has the potential to be perfect depending on your perception.

This was proven to me recently when I was in Miami for a conference. I had set aside a half of a day to be by myself and I sat on the beach for a while just soaking in the sun and then I decided to go for a walk. I walked about a mile on the beach and enjoyed seeing the sights and listening to the waves.

I knew I had to get back so I could make my plane so I decided to walk along the boardwalk on the way back. It wasn’t as nice as walking on the beach but it was more practical. As I walked along I was looking around and kind of wishing I was back on the beach. It was so much nicer there.

But then I shifted my perspective and I started feeling how the warm sun felt on my body. I zeroed in on all the sounds that were around me and I really saw the people and the things that surrounded me. I took a deep breath and got a full sense of the smells that were wafting around me. I got in touch with my senses and I fully immersed myself in the moment.

Do you know that it was like a surreal moment? It was almost as if time stopped. It was the most amazing experience, one that I haven’t even shared with anyone because I wasn’t sure I could explain it and do it justice. In that moment I was filled with the most amazing gratitude for that exact moment and tears began streaming down my face. It only lasted for a brief moment but it was powerful and showed me the power of living in the moment.

As Eckhart Tolle says in his book, A New Earth, “How to be at peace now? By making peace with the present moment. The present moment is the field on which the game of life happens. It cannot happen anywhere else. Once you have made peace with the present moment, see what happens, what you can do or choose to do, or rather what life does through you.”

I encourage you to practice living in each and every moment of your life and see how it changes things. Leave me a comment below to tell me how the experiment goes for you.

Inspirational Music on Monday

Here is a fun one!

Fun Friday

Last week I was reading The Art Lesson by Tomie DePaola with my son Aidan. It's all about little Tommy's passion for art as a young boy and his quest to become an artist. Tommy is always drawing and coloring and sharing his artwork with others. He is excited to go to school and have an opportunity to learn to be a "real" artist.

When we finished the story I told my son that the story could be about his mom. I could really relate to the little boy's story and his great love of art. You see, when I was little, I loved to draw! I used to draw, and draw, and color, and color some more.

When we would go out for dinner in the Greek coffee shops (which was a lot) my favorite thing to do was to flip over the paper place mat and create my masterpiece. My mom told me that I would sometimes finish my drawings and go over to another table and give them away.

The best times of my high school education were my art classes. I took them all and loved every minute of them. Of course there were a couple of kids in my class that were phenomenal artists and I figured I could never be as good as them so I decided to become a teacher instead of an artist. I thought about becoming an art teacher, but everyone knows they aren't in demand so I dropped that too.

Over the years I have dabbled in art here and there with drawing, painting, photography, and collage. I even spent some time as a mosaic artist but I never really felt confident enough to really give it a go.

It's funny how we can let our fears stand in our way of doing the things we love. I think that would be an even better children's story; how to feel the fear and do it anyway.

As part of my Fun Friday quest, I headed off to an art show at the Water Street Studios in Batavia. It is a really great place with all kinds of artists working and showing their art. It was nice to do something out of the ordinary.

I can't say I wasn't a little pulled to start creating some art of my own, maybe take a painting class and just have some fun with color. Maybe I will...next Friday! :o)

What's the one thing you would do if you knew you couldn't fail?

Thankful Thursday

Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you. -- Eileen Caddy

In an effort to share a bit of the joy and laughter Eileen speaks of above, this blog will be dedicated to moments of gratitude each Thursday.

I invite you to share the things you find yourself most thankful for throughout the week. Just send note, a photograph or both to me by noon on Wednesdays to be featured on Thankful Thursday.

If you didn't get a chance to submit your thankful moment this week, don't let that stop you. Just leave a comment down below. I am so excited to be able to share these special moments with all of you!
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I am so very thankful for the relationship that I have with my daughter.
Laura

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I am thankful for my mom, the sweetest, kindest, most generous, free spirit on earth!! She rocks!

Kelly
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Thursday is my day to see my grandkids, which brings me a lot of joy.Their funny stories and antics and their enthusiasm about life in general is so refreshing.

Bryce, who is 6, just started T-ball for the summer. I drove him to practice last week and stayed for awhile to watch. The coach had the boys line up along a fence to talk to them. One little guy starting harassing Bryce, grabbing his arm. Bryce kept telling him to stop but the kid was paying no mind. The coach wasn't saying anything either.

I turned to talk to someone behind me for a minute and when I turned back, there was Bryce sitting on top of the antagonist. All you could see of the boy was his little head and arms flailing about. Both boys were laughing. At that point the coach finally seperated them.

I chuckle everytime I think about that scene. Maybe the big leagers could learn something from the littleguys.

Bev
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I am so grateful for a wonderful day of health coaching some of the most amazing women! And I get to do it all over again today! Yay me!!!

Michelle

Life Lessons From American Idol

If you watch American Idol, you're familiar with Lee Dewyze from Chicago. If you don't watch the show, I am including some videos for you.

Lee is a sweet guy with a really great voice. I have always liked him and have been rooting for him from the beginning. The thing about Lee is that he came on the show with a bit of a self esteem and confidence problem. He didn't believe in himself and he didn't realize how good he was. Check out this video to watch one of his earlier songs.





Pretty good, right? You can hear the nice quality of his voice but it's a bit lackluster. He looks scared to death and not really sure of himself. You can see it on his face, you can feel it in his performance.


Each week the judges would tell Lee that he has a great voice and that he just needs to believe in himself, to have some confidence, and to really allow himself to shine. It was as if Lee was hearing the words but not allowing them in. He wasn't owning it.


Then came his performance of Treat Her Like a Lady. It was like a different person was standing there in front of us. You could see the confidence on his face, he had a bit of swagger and he sounded amazing.



I felt it. I knew that something had shifted in him and he was believing in himself. It gave me goosebumps. I turned to my family with a big smile on my face and said, "He did it. He finally believes in himself!" Simon said to him, "This is the night that your life may have changed forever."







What a difference some self confidence can make!




I have been working with an amazing group of women who are currently going through the program at IIN. These women are bright, beautiful, healthy, strong, and so much more. They are going to be fantastic health coaches and the world is lucky to have them.




Some of these ladies remind me of Lee a little bit. They don't necesarily believe in themselves. They are afraid to put themselves out there and they worry that they don't know enough to go out and start seeing clients. Each week I tell them how they know as much as they need to know and that they are going to be fantastic. Sometimes they hear me and sometimes they don't.




Gaining self confidence is a journey and I know they are on their way. My greatest wish for them is to have that moment when it all comes together; to know that they are the amazing women that they are; to see themselves as others see them and to believe in themselves.




What about you? What area of your life could benefit from a self confidence boost? Maybe you're not the greatest singer in the world but I know for a fact that you have something you are good at, something that comes natural to you, or something that other people admire about you. How do I know? Because everyone has something. We are all here with something to share.




How would your life be different if you started believing in yourself? What are you waiting for? Start your journey today!

Inspirational Music on Monday

In an effort to share inspirational music with you, I would am posting a video I created a couple of years ago. It is a beautiful song called Second Chance by Miten Premal. I hope you enjoy it.

Fun Friday

When I was a kid no one had to tell me how to have fun. I woke up in the morning and hit the door. I ran around all day with my friends catching frogs, going fishing, riding our bikes, dancing, swimming and hanging out. Fun was easy.

So often as adults we lose our sense of fun. We are so busy with our schedules, our to-do lists, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, and on and on. We forget how to just let lose and have fun.

Recently I found myself with a free Friday with nothing to do. I started thinking about the things I normally like to do...head to the bookstore, no, I didn't feel like doing that...explore the craft store, nah, didn't sound good...go for a walk in nature, who was I kidding? It was freezing out! What the heck? I couldn't even think of anything fun to do. I ended up sitting around my house watching TV. BORING!!!

I decided it was time to spend some time creating my nourishment menu. A nourishment menu is a list of anything and everything that feeds your soul. It can be relaxing, fun, rejuvenating, social or solitary. Whatever gets you excited.

Once I got started it was pretty easy. I came up with some things I am actually excited about and I am looking forward to some more of these Fun Fridays.

I decided to start with something I love to do but always seem to forget about...photo hunts. It is such a great adventure to walk around and look at my surroundings with different eyes. Things come to life. I start thinking about getting low and shooting up or zooming in and filling the frame. I especially love to do this in nature.

Today I headed off to one of my favorite garden stores in the area called The Growing Place. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and I just spent some time wandering around and looking for beauty. What a joy! Everywhere I looked I saw something lovely.

I created the above collage with some of the pictures I took. The whole thing was so fun and I feel very happy and content. Fun just got easy again!

What kinds of things are on your nourishment menu? If you don't have your own list, now is a good time to get one started. Get started now and don't forget to tell me all about it!

Thankful Thursday

Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you. -- Eileen Caddy

In an effort to share a bit of the joy and laughter Eileen speaks of above, this blog will be dedicated to moments of gratitude each Thursday.

I invite you to share the things you find yourself most thankful for throughout the week. Just send note, a photograph or both to me by noon on Wednesdays to be featured on Thankful Thursday.

If you didn't get a chance to submit your thankful moment this week, don't let that stop you. Just leave a comment down below. I am so excited to be able to share these special moments with all of you!
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I am thankful for my new haircut. I got a mohawk and I got my baseball number carved on the back. Now when I go to school everyone is calling me number 7. I like it.

Liam age 9
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I am thankful for my gecko Rocco. He is cool looking. I like to take him out of his cage and let him crawl on me.

Aidan, age 7

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Last weekend I was lucky enough to take a trip to Florida with my hubby. We got last minute tickets on Spirit Airlines for $37 each way. We called my mom and she agreed to watch the kids and then I called my dad and he said we could stay at his place in Florida. Everything fell into place effortlessly.

We had a relaxing trip. We hit the beach and the pool when it was sunny and we stayed in and talked and read when it was raining. We saw a couple of movies, ate some amazing meals and just connected. It was fabulous!

Michelle

Thankful Thursday

Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you. -- Eileen Caddy

In an effort to share a bit of the joy and laughter Eileen speaks of above, this blog will be dedicated to moments of gratitude each Thursday.

I invite you to share the things you find yourself most thankful for throughout the week. Just send note, a photograph or both to me by noon on Wednesdays to be featured on Thankful Thursday.

If you didn't get a chance to submit your thankful moment this week, don't let that stop you. Just leave a comment down below. I am so excited to be able to share these special moments with all of you!
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I am thankful for Facebook...for me, it's given my authentic identity a re-birth :)

Kim Kogut Bronk

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I am thankful that I was able to spend the whole day with my dad yesterday during his experimental drug infusion for Alzheimer's. We watched Second-Hand Lions while we were waiting, and he enjoyed it thoroughly.

Melissa Kaiser

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I woke up this morning to the sounds of birds chirping. I looked out my window at the fresh, green earth, trees in blossom, and a parade of hyacinths, daffodils and tulips; it felt great to be alive. After saying good morning to Mom and my little bird, Pookie , I made a cup of coffee and went outside. What greeted me was a wheel barrow full of dirt clods, mud encrusted work gloves and shoes, shovels, rakes, edgers and other assorted yard tools, myriad plants in pots waiting to be planted, and a trail of dirt that led across the driveway and all the way up the front sidewalk. Where do I start?

The fact that I'd spent the past few days planting, edging and moving a whole lot of dirt didn't change the fact that there was still a lot left to do. My back was aching and my legs were sore but still . . I felt happy. I realized just how lucky I am to be able to be outside working in the garden on such a beautiful day. I felt grateful to be able to fulfill Mom's passion for the garden — she is 88 and can't get down on her knees anymore, but she can enjoy the garden through my efforts. All the more reason to be grateful that I still have the physical capacity and energy to get the job done.

It is 6:00 PM and the garden is shaping up. I am tired but jubilant, and Mom is excited to see things popping out of the ground. Tomorrow is another day, but already there is much joy in it. These are the grateful moments I wanted to share with you.

Pam Pulice

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I am thankful that spring is here. I am so lucky to be able to drive down this street that is lined with these gorgeous trees. I love waking up to the sound of the birds singing, and the sun, oh the sun! It is so great to have it back, shining down and warming me. I can't tell you how thrilled it makes me to see a blue sky instead of the dreary grey one that I have grown so accustomed to over the winter. It's glorious. There is something about the air in spring. It is full of inspiration and excitement. It makes me want to do a happy, spring dance!

Michelle Geoffroy
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Thankful Thursday

Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you. -- Eileen Caddy

In an effort to share a bit of the joy and laughter Eileen speaks of above, this blog will be dedicated to moments of gratitude each Thursday.

I invite you to share the things you find yourself most thankful for throughout the week. Just send note, a photograph or both to me by noon on Wednesdays to be featured on Thankful Thursday.

If you didn't get a chance to submit your thankful moment this week, don't let that stop you. Just leave a comment down below. I am so excited to be able to share these special moments with all of you!

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This week I am most thankful that no one on my street was hurt when a young, 19 year old boy crashed into a tree while he was driving drunk.

Normally there are kids all over the neighborhood outside playing. Within a 10 house radius there are over 25 kids and they are always out playing ball, riding bikes and all that fun stuff.

On Tuesday, the only one out there was my 7 year old. He was playing basketball in the driveway. He came running in and told me what had happened. I went outside right away and it was immediately apparent that the boy was altered in some way. A neighbor called the police and the boy was arrested. The above picture was taken over an hour after the accident happened.

I couldn't help but be grateful that my son's basketball didn't roll out into the street while the boy barreled down the block. It was quite apparent he was going very fast by the looks of the car. It was totalled.

As I stood by watching what happened one of the neighborhood teenagers said, "Thank God no one got hurt. This would have been a whole nother situation." Truer words were never spoken. It really makes you think about what is important and how things can change in a blink of an eye.

That night as I tucked the boys in bed we sat and talked for a little longer than normal. I just didn't want to let it end, so grateful for having them.

Learning to Pamper

I just recently headed off to Miami Beach for a conference with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition. Of course I learned a lot of good information but the best thing about it was the much needed vacation. I stayed on for an extra day just to give myself time to relax and recuperate from my hectic life at home.

That extra day was so fantastic. It was great just being able to do whatever I wanted. I headed off to Lincoln Road where I had a great time window shopping, found a fabulous little restaurant and had the most delicious meal, and when it started to rain I ducked into a movie theater.

I went to this beautiful and luxurious hotel for breakfast and ordered a pot of citrus chamomile tea. When the waitress brought it out I got as excited as a school girl on a trip to American Girl. It was in this cute pot and served on a tray with a little individual pot of honey and a lemon wedge on its own little dish. So cute!

I sat there outside, next to the pool with my cup of tea, soaked in the sun, and thought about how lucky I was to be there. I couldn't help but wish I could have a little more of this pampering. Of course my lifestyle doesn't really give me a lot of free time for extravagant vacations, sitting by the beach, sipping tea.

Then I thought, how can I bring a little slice of this to my life on a smaller scale? Seriously, why can't I buy myself a nice teapot with some cute cups and those adorable little spoons? I could get a little tray and sit out in my screen room overlooking the pond and sip my tea.

So that is my plan. A little pampering ritual that I am bringing back from Miami Beach. I went shopping yesterday but couldn't find one I was in love with so I will keep looking. I will be sure to post a picture when I find it.

I am on a path of learning how to treat myself special. I've spent most of my life focusing on my kids and I don't really even know how to pamper myself. Sad but true. I suspect there are a lot of women out there who can relate.

So, tell me your story. How do you pamper yourself and treat yourself special? If you don't spend a lot of time doing special things for yourself tell me one thing big or small that you would love to do for yourself. Maybe you can give me some great ideas!

Frantic Holiday Eating

The countdown to holiday eating has begun. We are only days away from eating out big Thanksgiving feasts which leads right into holiday baking, holiday parties and an endless supply of food.

What's a girl to do? You want to be healthy. You don't want to gain weight but you wait all year for those special cookies and your grandma's famous dessert. What would the holidays be without all those special foods you ask yourself.

Trust me, I've been there more times than I would like to admit. I've gone through the holidays gorging on every bit of food on the table until I was so full I felt sick. I've also gone through the holidays on a strict diet, refusing to eat anything that might make me gain weight. Neither of these plans has worked for me and I'm guessing that I am not alone.

As much as we would like to think of food as pure fuel for our bodies there is no denying that food holds a special place in our hearts. Just the smell of something baking in the oven can bring us back to a happier place let alone that first delicious bite. Do we really want to deprive ourselves of that warm fuzzy feeling? Well there must be a way to have our cake and eat it too.

Here are my top tips for getting through the holidays without depriving yourself or gorging yourself.

1. Don't be perfect- Look, I know we all want to be perfect but trust me, there is no such thing so I am giving you permission to let perfectionism go this holiday. Aim for 90-10, 80-20, or even 75-25. Make the majority of your meals healthy so when you are at your holiday party you can enjoy your favorite dessert without the guilt.

2. Hydrate yourself- When the weather turns cold and we stoke up our furnaces the air becomes dry and we naturally become a bit dehydrated. The irony is that when it is cold we don't really feel like drinking big glasses of cold water. Often we confuse hunger for thirst so by making sure you are getting enough fluids you will automatically cut down on the amount of food you eat.

Try drinking your water room temperature. It is better for you anyway and won't give you that chill. Try warm water with some lemon or a new herbal tea. Add lemon, lime, orange or cucumber to your water for an interesting twist. Just remember to stay away from soft drinks and caffeinated beverages. These don't hydrate and in fact can deplete the body of hydration.

3. Do a Swap- I used to make this sweet potato side dish that was to die for! I mean...yum. Well, it was loaded with sugar and fat and I just don't want to go there anymore. I would rather save my splurge for a decadent dessert so now I make a lighter dish with agave for a sweetener and a bit of olive oil. It tastes delicious and I can feel good about eating it. Look at your menu and see where you can make small changes to make it a bit healthier.

4. Plan, Plan, Plan- We've all heard the saying, "fail to plan, plan to fail." Take a moment to look at your calendar and figure out some easy meals you can make that will nourish you without stressing you out. Don't be caught staring into the refrigerator wondering what to eat, only to grab something junky that won't even give you any satisfaction.

5. Slow Down and Enjoy Your Food- So many of us tend to wolf down our food barely even tasting it. If you are going to wait all year for your favorite food, don't you think you should take the time to truly savor it? By slowing down and experiencing all of the flavors the dish has to offer you will not only bring yourself some much needed joy but chances are you will be satisfied with a lot less of it too.

5. Take Care of Yourself- Last but certainly not least, in fact, this is probably the most important thing you can do. One of the most powerful things I have learned since becoming a holistic coach is that when we take impeccable care of ourselves we are less interested in filling up with food. When we are constantly on the go, stretched thin, stressed and tired, we turn to food to make us feel better, to calm us, to give us a little bit of joy. But when we learn to fill our lives with gratitude, joy, passion and excitement, we realize that there isn't a food out there that can measure up to that.

I know the holidays can be stressful. This year I invite you to carve out little bits of "me time." Go for a walk in nature and collect pine cones to put in a bowl on your table. Put on your favorite holiday music and take a candle-lit bath, sneak off to the movies all by yourself and enjoy every minute of it. Find something that makes you smile and makes you happy and just do it! You will be surprised how much more you will enjoy this holiday season and how much less you will be inclined to eat.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this. What's one thing you will do differently this year to make your holiday season even better?

A Happy Life

A happy life is just a string of happy moments. But most people don't allow the happy moment, because they're so busy trying to get a happy life.
--- Abraham

I used to have this idea that someday I would be happy. Someday when my life was perfect I would finally have this ideal life and I would be happy. I would be the perfect size, my kids would be the perfect age, my house would look like a model home in a magazine, I would be travelling to exotic places, I would have free time to spend just as I wished and then...I would FINALLY be happy.

I tried to make it happen. I started taking all kinds of workshops and educational programs looking for the key to find my happiness. Each of them brought me something special and for a short time I would feel like I found my answer. Inevitably, something would go wrong in my life and I would be thrown for a loop. All my hard work was for nothing, I would never truly be happy!

This year I turned 40. Yep, the big 4-0. And guess what. Something changed in me. I have been having these moments of clarity I guess you can call them. They are like little flashes of reality and it seems my eyes have opened up to see what I couldn't see before. I have realized that there really is no final happy destination. It is what you make of everyday that determines how happy you are. I can determine how happy I am whether the weather is warm or cold, the house is clean or messy, the work is done or not. It is truly up to me.

So what have I been doing to make that process a bit easier? I've been bringing moments of joy into my day as much as possible. Nothing drastic. Nothing that can't be easily added into my day. It doesn't take a lot to make the changes. Here are my top 5 happiness helpers.

1. Creating the Soundtrack of My Life- I have been really using music to create my mood lately. I have been listening to calming and uplifting music in the mornings while I am getting the kids off to school. It really helps me start the day off feeling grounded and peaceful and I have noticed a difference in the kids' behavior as well. Some favorites are So Much Magnificence by Miten and Deva Premal, Have I told You Lately by Rod Stewart and Into the Mystic by Van Morrison.

I have also been taking mid-day dance breaks. I go to You Tube and search a favorite song, crank up the computer and start boogieing. It takes just minutes and really lifts my spirits and gives me a second wind.

Dinner has been amped up with the addition of music too. I get the kids dancing around the kitchen with me while I prepare the food and we have lots of fun. One warning, don't get too wrapped up in the dancing, you might burn your food...trust me, I speak from experience. :o)

2. Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude- I can't say enough about taking the time to stop and think about what you have instead of what you don't have. It changes your entire perspective and gives you a warm fuzzy feeling inside. In the beginning I had the hardest time with this, I was so negative that I often couldn't find anything to be that grateful for. I had to come up with basic things like, "I am breathing. I can walk. I can see. The sun is shining." It didn't take long for me to get with the groove and now I find gratitude in just about everything these days.

3. Picking Media Wisely- I haven't watched the news in years. I decided a long time ago that I wasn't being served by the negative messages and fear inducing hype that goes on in most newscasts. It is amazing but I have managed to survive and know enough about what is going on to carry on intelligent conversations. I just recently learned of a magazine called The Week from a fellow IIN student. It is a weekly news magazine that reports with a positive spin. I am going to get my free 4 issues and check it out.

4. It's Tea Time- My grandmother is from Australia and in Australia you drink tea. You drink tea all day it seems. When I headed down under as a teenager I couldn't appreciate the ritual of taking time off for a cup of tea but now that I am, ahem, "older", I get it.

In this instance it really isn't about the tea. It's more about ritual of taking the little break in my day. I spend about 10 to 15 minutes just relaxing and enjoying my tea. If you're not into tea then find something else that can give you that warm happy feeling and feeds your body. That is good stuff.

5. Stay Connected- In this day and age it seems we are all so busy that it can be easy to go through life without really connecting to the people we love. We give a quick kiss goodbye as we head out the door and say our "I love you's" when we hang up the phone but without really making an effort to connect on a regular basis we can easily lose touch.

Our family likes to play dinner games while we eat. It's a fun way to spend our time together and we all have a little laugh at the same time. I also make an effort to spend time with the kids when they get home from school to see how their day went.

My husband and I usually go out twice a month on a date. Sometimes we go to dinner, to the movies, or even to the bookstore. Occasionally we will listen to some live music. The nights where we end up sitting around and talking are the best dates. We end up feeling like we did when we first met and we really feel connected.

What kinds of things do you do to make your days a little happier?