A Happy Life

A happy life is just a string of happy moments. But most people don't allow the happy moment, because they're so busy trying to get a happy life.
--- Abraham

I used to have this idea that someday I would be happy. Someday when my life was perfect I would finally have this ideal life and I would be happy. I would be the perfect size, my kids would be the perfect age, my house would look like a model home in a magazine, I would be travelling to exotic places, I would have free time to spend just as I wished and then...I would FINALLY be happy.

I tried to make it happen. I started taking all kinds of workshops and educational programs looking for the key to find my happiness. Each of them brought me something special and for a short time I would feel like I found my answer. Inevitably, something would go wrong in my life and I would be thrown for a loop. All my hard work was for nothing, I would never truly be happy!

This year I turned 40. Yep, the big 4-0. And guess what. Something changed in me. I have been having these moments of clarity I guess you can call them. They are like little flashes of reality and it seems my eyes have opened up to see what I couldn't see before. I have realized that there really is no final happy destination. It is what you make of everyday that determines how happy you are. I can determine how happy I am whether the weather is warm or cold, the house is clean or messy, the work is done or not. It is truly up to me.

So what have I been doing to make that process a bit easier? I've been bringing moments of joy into my day as much as possible. Nothing drastic. Nothing that can't be easily added into my day. It doesn't take a lot to make the changes. Here are my top 5 happiness helpers.

1. Creating the Soundtrack of My Life- I have been really using music to create my mood lately. I have been listening to calming and uplifting music in the mornings while I am getting the kids off to school. It really helps me start the day off feeling grounded and peaceful and I have noticed a difference in the kids' behavior as well. Some favorites are So Much Magnificence by Miten and Deva Premal, Have I told You Lately by Rod Stewart and Into the Mystic by Van Morrison.

I have also been taking mid-day dance breaks. I go to You Tube and search a favorite song, crank up the computer and start boogieing. It takes just minutes and really lifts my spirits and gives me a second wind.

Dinner has been amped up with the addition of music too. I get the kids dancing around the kitchen with me while I prepare the food and we have lots of fun. One warning, don't get too wrapped up in the dancing, you might burn your food...trust me, I speak from experience. :o)

2. Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude- I can't say enough about taking the time to stop and think about what you have instead of what you don't have. It changes your entire perspective and gives you a warm fuzzy feeling inside. In the beginning I had the hardest time with this, I was so negative that I often couldn't find anything to be that grateful for. I had to come up with basic things like, "I am breathing. I can walk. I can see. The sun is shining." It didn't take long for me to get with the groove and now I find gratitude in just about everything these days.

3. Picking Media Wisely- I haven't watched the news in years. I decided a long time ago that I wasn't being served by the negative messages and fear inducing hype that goes on in most newscasts. It is amazing but I have managed to survive and know enough about what is going on to carry on intelligent conversations. I just recently learned of a magazine called The Week from a fellow IIN student. It is a weekly news magazine that reports with a positive spin. I am going to get my free 4 issues and check it out.

4. It's Tea Time- My grandmother is from Australia and in Australia you drink tea. You drink tea all day it seems. When I headed down under as a teenager I couldn't appreciate the ritual of taking time off for a cup of tea but now that I am, ahem, "older", I get it.

In this instance it really isn't about the tea. It's more about ritual of taking the little break in my day. I spend about 10 to 15 minutes just relaxing and enjoying my tea. If you're not into tea then find something else that can give you that warm happy feeling and feeds your body. That is good stuff.

5. Stay Connected- In this day and age it seems we are all so busy that it can be easy to go through life without really connecting to the people we love. We give a quick kiss goodbye as we head out the door and say our "I love you's" when we hang up the phone but without really making an effort to connect on a regular basis we can easily lose touch.

Our family likes to play dinner games while we eat. It's a fun way to spend our time together and we all have a little laugh at the same time. I also make an effort to spend time with the kids when they get home from school to see how their day went.

My husband and I usually go out twice a month on a date. Sometimes we go to dinner, to the movies, or even to the bookstore. Occasionally we will listen to some live music. The nights where we end up sitting around and talking are the best dates. We end up feeling like we did when we first met and we really feel connected.

What kinds of things do you do to make your days a little happier?