Loving Yourself Thin

I am still making my way through Geneen Roth's Women Food and God

and I keep finding all kinds of wisdom nuggets. It is a wonderful book that really gets to the heart of emotional eating.

Here is the quote that got me thinking today:

"Although the very notion that hatred leads to love and that torture leads to relaxation is absolutely insane, we hypnotize ourselves into believing that the end justifies the means. We treat ourselves and the rest of the world as if deprivation, punishment and shame lead to change. We treat our bodies as if they are the enemy and the only acceptable outcome is annihilation. Our deeply ingrained belief is that hatred and torture work. And although I've never met anyone - not one person - for whom warring with their bodies led to long lasting change, we continue to believe that with a little more self-disgust, we'll prevail."

When I read that passage it cut right to the bone. How many times have we looked in the mirror with hatred at the reflection staring back at us? How many times have we looked down at our stomach or our thighs and shuddered with disgust? How many times have we made derogatory comments about our bodies to our girlfriends?

So often we tend to beat ourselves up. We are never thin enough, pretty enough, or perfect enough. It is only when we begin to accept ourselves for who we are on the outside and well on the inside that we can begin to see a shift in our attitude and amazingly we see a shift in our weight as well.

I've worked with women who were so hard on themselves and when I would bring up this topic it seemed so foreign to them. They couldn't imagine loving themselves just as they are...they are fat, they are lumpy, they are ugly...don't you see?!

It is only when I get them to look deeper, to see who they are beneath the exterior that they can see that yes, they are perfect just the way they are. It may only last a brief moment, but that moment is the beginning of the shift. It takes time but soon enough they catch their reflection in the mirror and instead of being repulsed, they think, hmmm, not so bad. And soon after that, they start smiling at themselves in the mirror and before long they are truly happy with what they see. And all the while, the pounds seem to melt away.

My words are from experience. I've been living this truth for a while now and I can honestly say that the majority of the time I look into the mirror and like what I see. I am not perfect. I could definitely lose some more weight and firm up but I don't focus on that anymore and let me tell you, it is freeing. I am happier and I am content. Because I am appreciating my body and loving it, I want to feed it good foods. It's no longer a struggle or a battle or a exercise in deprivation. It's just what I do.

So, if you are stuck in a negative relationship with your body, begin to find the things you love about yourself and focus on them. Make it a daily exercise and be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself like you would a small child and see if it makes a difference.